Letter T
Toxic Friendship
For the friend you come home from feeling smaller. Books on recognising toxic friendships and stepping back with grace.
Dear reader,
For the friend you come home from feeling smaller. Books on recognising toxic friendships and stepping back with grace. If you have ever finished a book and thought, "how did they know?", that is the part of reading I care most about. This is a small collection of books about toxic friendship that I keep coming back to, and that readers keep telling me made a real difference. It gathers 3 fiction titles, 2 nonfiction titles, and 1 poetry title.
You will find writers like Sally Rooney, Elena Ferrante, and Lydia Denworth here, each one approaching toxic friendship in their own way. Some are practical and clear, some are messier and more personal, and a few simply keep you company on a hard evening. There is no right order to read them in. Start with whichever title sounds most like where you are today, and put anything down that feels too close for now.
One small note: these books are here as good company, not as a fix. They are not a replacement for therapy or medical care, but reading has been helping people make sense of themselves for a very long time, and the right book at the right moment can genuinely shift something.
Warmly,
Bijal x
Learn more about Bibliotherapy in my book, Bibliotherapy: The Healing Power of Reading.
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Frequently asked questions
What are the best books to read about toxic friendship?
A good place to start is the fiction, nonfiction, and poetry suggested in this reading list. They each explore this theme differently, so you can select what you are connecting with the most.
Can reading really help with toxic friendship?
Yes, although it should not be viewed as a substitute for therapy. The right book can help you articulate feelings you have struggled to explain, offer reassurance that you are not alone, and provide a new perspective. Sometimes that insight is exactly what you need; at other times, it can encourage you to seek further support.
Who curates the Toxic Friendship reading list?
Bijal Shah, a bibliotherapist, founder of Book Therapy and The Book Therapy Method and the author of Bibliotherapy: The Healing Power of Reading (Hachette, 2024). She has spent over ten years matching readers to books for all kinds of emotional and life themes, including toxic friendship.
Do I need a Book Therapy membership to see the full toxic friendship list?
Yes. The full Toxic Friendship reading list, with my notes on each book, the covers and the personal reading tools, lives inside the Book Therapy membership. You also get the whole A to Z of Book Prescriptions, the journalling, and writing tools and reading progress tracking.
Are these toxic friendship books suitable if I've never read anything on the topic before?
Yes. The list is deliberately diverse in order to ensure there is something for everyone, whether that's a short memoir, a poem to sit with over a cup of tea, or a novel to properly disappear into. If something feels too close to what you're going through right now, you have the option to put it down. And another book on the list might be more helpful.
Related reading lists
If Toxic Friendship resonates, these companion themes from the A–Z of Book Prescriptions may meet you next.
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Therapy & Self-Inquiry
For anyone curious about the work of looking honestly at their own life. Books that read like a good therapy hour.
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Transitions
For the awkward, in-between chapters when the last life has ended and the next one hasn't started. Reads to walk you through.
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Trauma
For the way the body remembers what the mind tries to file away. Writing on trauma that honours the slow, non-linear return.
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Thanatophobia
For the panic that ambushes you at 3am about the fact of dying. Books by people who looked at it long enough to soften it.
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Therapeutic Literature
Novels and memoirs that quietly do what a good therapy hour does. They hand you back to yourself.
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Time Management
For the diary that keeps filling with everyone else's priorities. Reads on spending your finite hours on what actually matters.