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Abusive Relationships
This reading list is for anyone who has experienced, is navigating, or is trying to understand the complexities of an abusive relationship, whether as a survivor, a mental health professional, or someone piecing together what happened to them. These books offer language for experiences that can be hard to name, alongside guidance, validation, and paths toward healing and safety.
Dear reader,
This reading list is for anyone who has experienced, is navigating, or is trying to understand the complexities of an abusive relationship, whether as a survivor, a mental health professional, or someone piecing together what happened to them. These books offer language for experiences that can be hard to name, alongside guidance, validation, and paths toward healing and safety. If you have ever finished a book and thought, "how did they know?", that is the part of reading I care most about. This is a small collection of books about abusive relationships that I keep coming back to, and that readers keep telling me made a real difference. It gathers 2 fiction titles and 4 nonfiction titles.
You will find writers like Lundy Bancroft, Carmen Maria Machado, and Colleen Hoover here, each one approaching abusive relationships in their own way. Some are practical and clear, some are messier and more personal, and a few simply keep you company on a hard evening. There is no right order to read them in. Start with whichever title sounds most like where you are today, and put anything down that feels too close for now.
One small note: these books are here as good company, not as a fix. They are not a replacement for therapy or medical care, but reading has been helping people make sense of themselves for a very long time, and the right book at the right moment can genuinely shift something.
Warmly,
Bijal x
Learn more about Bibliotherapy in my book, Bibliotherapy: The Healing Power of Reading.
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Frequently asked questions
What are the best books to read about abusive relationships?
A good place to start is the fiction, nonfiction, and poetry suggested in this reading list. They each explore this theme differently, so you can select what you are connecting with the most.
Can reading really help with abusive relationships?
Yes, although it should not be viewed as a substitute for therapy. The right book can help you articulate feelings you have struggled to explain, offer reassurance that you are not alone, and provide a new perspective. Sometimes that insight is exactly what you need; at other times, it can encourage you to seek further support.
Who curates the Abusive Relationships reading list?
Bijal Shah, a bibliotherapist, founder of Book Therapy and The Book Therapy Method and the author of Bibliotherapy: The Healing Power of Reading (Hachette, 2024). She has spent over ten years matching readers to books for all kinds of emotional and life themes, including abusive relationships.
Do I need a Book Therapy membership to see the full abusive relationships list?
Yes. The full Abusive Relationships reading list, with my notes on each book, the covers and the personal reading tools, lives inside the Book Therapy membership. You also get the whole A to Z of Book Prescriptions, the journalling, and writing tools and reading progress tracking.
Are these abusive relationships books suitable if I've never read anything on the topic before?
Yes. The list is deliberately diverse in order to ensure there is something for everyone, whether that's a short memoir, a poem to sit with over a cup of tea, or a novel to properly disappear into. If something feels too close to what you're going through right now, you have the option to put it down. And another book on the list might be more helpful.
Related reading lists
If Abusive Relationships resonates, these companion themes from the A–Z of Book Prescriptions may meet you next.
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Anxiety
For the days your chest is tight before your feet touch the floor. Books that name what worry actually feels like, and quietly show you the way back to your breath.
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ADHD
For the wired, forgetful, wildly capable brain that has been told for years to try harder. These reads honour how ADHD actually thinks.
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Affairs
For anyone standing in the wreckage of a lie, whether you told it, discovered it, or lived it. Books about what love looks like after the ground gives way.
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Anger
Anger is rarely just anger. These books listen for the fear, the hurt, and the unmet need it is usually protecting.
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Autism
Autistic writers and thinkers on their own terms. Sensory truth, deep interests, and lives that don't need translating into anyone else's grammar.
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Abandonment
For the ancient, wordless fear that people leave. Books on rebuilding trust from the bottom of the well.